Boredom

My pediatrician once told me that I have a vague, bored look in my eyes. My mother told him that I was bored by everything ordinary. Years later, my grandfather told me that when I would be older, I would understand that women aren’t equal to men. When I was older, I understood that I need not argue with him to understand that he was wrong. I have been considered the black sheep of the family because, just because, I am a woman and I think. They will never understand that my silence is not conformity, but rather a silent wall that I have created around me so that they cannot affect me. they compliment me on being a good cook or studying well, but not because I think differently. It suffocates me, because I cannot tell them how much they mean to me without letting my guard down and every time I do, I get trampled on. I asked my mother a couple of months back if she would have been happier with a normal girl who would have fulfilled all her duties. She looked at me and said, ‘Hell no, I would have been bored to death.’